Fault lines

I need the feeling like an easy drug
stolen from your mother’s medicine cabinet
and crawling back again
I know what this means
the cancer is receding the bottles keep piling
she’s strong and I am, I am, I am
weaker than the lies I tell
These inconsistencies like fault lines in my soul
and I know, I know, I know
It’s my own unveiling
I just want to keep digging this hole
I may sleep within before too long
and the words I wrote, and wrote, and wrote
but never spoke now mean nothing
the bottom is dropping out
the end is everything
and here it is